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they keep me (in)sane
Family Guy Fic: The Middle of the Night 
2nd-Jul-2007 10:08 am
Lotr: lifestyle choice
Fandom: Family Guy (just a one-shot, don't worry, Dante and Randal will return soon)
Characters/Pairings: Stewie/Brian
Title: The Middle of the Night
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1000
AN: Umm, I'm not exactly sure where this came from, but you gotta admit Stewie and Brian are pretty cute together, so I thought I'd try my hand at some pedophile-bestiality
Warnings/Disclaimers: Don’t own ‘em.

Brian stumbled into Stewie’s room, a martini glass dangling upside down from one of his paws, leaving a trail of drips behind him.

“You awake?” Brain murmured, leaning heavily against the wall, his voice had taken on that tone he despised; it was filled with the whining, broken quality that followed too much alcohol.

Stewie stared at the bars of his crib silently, he refused to respond to Brian when he was like this, if Brain wasn’t intelligent enough to stay sober then Stewie refused to associate with him.

Brian walked slowly over to the crib, feet dragging, the martini glass finally freed itself form his paw somewhere along the way and fell to the carpeted floor harmlessly. He leaned on the frail wood of Stewie’s crib. Stewie held his breath, as Brian’s was gusting hot and forcefully across his face.

“Stewie…” Brain said, his voice trailing off into nowhere. It didn’t’ seem right to Brian that the most intelligent member of this family was its youngest. That was why he stumbled in here night after night; Brain wanted someone on his own intellectual level to talk to, to spend time with.

It was getting harder for Stewie not to breath, he let the air in his lungs out with an expansive sigh and inhaled, forced to draw in the foul alcoholic fumes that were emanating from Brian’s mouth.

“Stewie? You’re awake?”

Stewie stood up then, he couldn’t stand this anymore, standing nose to nose with Brian he thrust a finger at the door. “You love Lois! Get the devil out of my room!”

Brian ran his tongue along his lower lip to catch a bit of drool that was escaping his mouth and—completely by accident of course—licked Stewie’s cheek.

Stewie’s knees quavered, he wished Brian didn’t do this to him, randomly appear in his room at some god-awful hour, drunk, with all his inhibitions gone and act tenderly toward him. Stewie couldn’t stand it, it was cruel of Brian, to act so different at three a.m. then he did during daylight hours.

“I will not talk to you in this state,” Stewie snapped, and placed his hands on Brian’s chest through the bars of his crib, giving Brian an ineffectual shove backwards.

“I, I was just coming to check in on you,” Brian looked at Stewie affectionately, sadly. Brain had found himself wandering into Stewie’s room more and more often of late, he’d be rolling over and over at the foot of Peter and Lois’ bed and Stewie’s presence would seem desirable. Of all the things Brian could ever want, Stewie’s company had never been high on the list, but recently, as sleep seemed more and more elusive and Peter’s snoring became louder and louder the image that filled Brian’s head was Stewie’s smirk. So here he was.

In the baby’s room.

In the middle of the night.

“I. . . I just wanna talk.”

“Well it sounds like you’re incapable of that at the moment,” Stewie snapped, “Now get the devil out of my room.”

“You ever feel like it’s all pointless?” Brian wobbled dangerously, one paw gripping Stewie’s crib, the other flung behind him to stop the threatening fall.

Stewie’s eyes were dark, his hand resting absent-mindedly on the cheek that Brian had licked. “I hate you, you imbecile of an animal.”

“Aw, now, now, c’mon Stewie, I’m the only one in this infernal family who listens to you. You don’t hate me.”

Stewie slapped him, once, twice. As hard as he could.

In his drunken state with his balance completely shot Brian couldn’t withstand Stewie’s hands and fell to the carpeted floor with a thump.

Stewie vaulted over the edge of his crib. The air rushed out of Brian when Stewie landed on his chest, Stewie’s tiny hands grabbed Brian’s shoulders and after two failed attempts to shake Brian vigorously he gave up and sat there on Brian’s chest, the rage had seeped out of him and he was left with Brian’s fur between his fingers and Brian’s liquid brown eyes staring up at him.

“Are you even conscious?” Stewie tried to snap, but the venom had gone and he was just tired.

Brian reached up and placed a paw on Stewie’s shoulder, patting it lightly, Stewie collapsed then, sprawling across Brian and gripping his fur tighter.

Brian’s tongue lapped gently at Stewie’s ear, tracing the curves of it, then dragging slowly down the line of his neck and back to his ear. Stewie giggled and resented the sound, but he couldn’t stop himself from pushing his cheek up against Brian’s muzzle, rubbing his face against Brian’s fur and he could feel his skin tingling in the wake of Brian’s tongue.

Stewie reached behind Brian’s left ear and scratched purposefully exactly where the ear met Brian’s skull. Brian whimpered and his leg twitched, “Stewie,” he groaned and his leg jerked again. Stewie smirked and dug his fingers deeper into Brian’s scalp.

“You like that? Huh? Do you, dog?”

Brian nodded vigorously and moaned, his leg jerking rhythmically. After a moment more of Brian writhing on the floor he began begging. “That’s enough, I can’t. . . ” he wheezed.

Stewie relented grudgingly and rode up and down on Brian’s chest, Brian’s heavy breathing causing it to rise and fall drastically.

“You’re a vindictive little twerp,” Brian said

“You’re the one who got my ear soggy,” Stewie shot back, shaking his head as if dislodging water for effect.

Brian lunged upward to drag his tongue completely across Stewie’s face before falling back to the carpet, his head making a dull thud and bouncing once.


Brian pulled Stewie downwards, so that Stewie was pressed against him, Brian’s heartbeat loud in Stewie’s ear.

Brian was snoring soon, his mouth hanging open, each snore rattling his entire body. Stewie stayed lying on top of him, soaking in the warmth he was radiating. Stewie hated Brian more then he ever had at this moment, hated him because Stewie was incapable of leaving this spot, was incapable of prying himself away and returning to his crib.

Stewie’s eyes drifted closed eventually as well, and the two of them lay there on the floor of Stewie’s room, Brian’s snores rocking them both. There was an awkward conversation the next morning when Lois found them, but we will leave them sleeping.
20th-Nov-2007 07:21 am (UTC)
This was very cute ^^ Well-written with lovely description and the situation written so nice and flowy.
I can't help but love these two together, no matter how odd a pairing it is <3
23rd-Nov-2007 03:43 am (UTC)
Yeah... slashing random animated characters FTW. I'm glad you liked it.
12th-Feb-2008 09:13 am (UTC)
that was great XD do you know of any other Stewie/Brian fics?
14th-Feb-2008 05:47 am (UTC)
Unfortunately no. That's why I ended up writing my own. I'm always keeping an eye out though, so if I find any you'll be first to know.
14th-Feb-2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
all right, thanks :D

a friend of mine found one on fanfiction.net... when I get back home I can share the link, okay? ^^
15th-Feb-2008 05:30 am (UTC)

I haven't read it all the way through but its pretty good so far ^^;
16th-Feb-2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the link. I'm looking forward to reading it.
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